


You Can Hear it in the Silence

by americanhoney913



Category: Charlie's Angels (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Homophobia, Jewish Sabina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanhoney913/pseuds/americanhoney913
Summary: Hands traced scars and little bits of raised skin left by the accident, reminding her of a topographical map. The doctors said that she wasn’t wearing a helmet, which Elena wanted to yell at her for. They told Elena that Sabina slid and rolled across the tarmac, getting scraped up in all different places, but mostly near her ears. She was lucky to be alive at all, even with the amount of damage she’d sustained.
Relationships: Elena Houghlin/Sabina Wilson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86
Collections: Good Morning Angels Secret Snowman 2019





	You Can Hear it in the Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ura_nium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ura_nium/gifts).



> Happy holiday to my secret snowman! I know you love Sabina whump and I hope this is enough. I couldn't hurt my girls too much though.
> 
> I am Jewish and I lived in Israel for a year and this was an experience I had with one of the families I worked with while I was there. This is not indicative of the views of all Jewish people, Orthodox or not. I did take classes with Orthodox women and their views, while a little more accepting, were a mild version of what happens with Sabina's mom.
> 
> TW- homophobia
> 
> Ima- "mother" in Hebrew  
> Aba- "father" in Hebrew

Elena wondered what it was like in her silent world, and wished Sabina could tell her. Instead, she traced her eyebrows with her fingertips. Elena’s gaze wandered along bruises still healing and skin stitched as if by a master seamstress. Hands traced scars and little bits of raised skin left by the accident, reminding her of a topographical map. The doctors said that she wasn’t wearing a helmet, which Elena wanted to yell at her for. They told Elena that Sabina slid and rolled across the tarmac, getting scraped up in all different places, but mostly near her ears. She was lucky to be alive at all, even with the amount of damage she’d sustained.

Elena ran her fingers through Sabina’s matted hair, blonde and mouse brown, standing out against the stark white sheets with the little blue clouds at the bottom. While Sabina rested on her back on the left side of the bed, Elena leaned on a pillow beside her, back against the headboard. The smell of apple permeated the room — Sabina’s favorite — and the flicker of soft candlelight cast shadows across the far wall. The room seemed so full of life, even in the stillness of the morning. It had been three weeks since Sabina had been here, in their bed, relaxed. These past three weeks filled with sterile hospital rooms and artificial lights that Elena knew her girlfriend was none too pleased with.

The white walls were covered in brown and teal splatter paint, footprints covering most of the hardwood floor. Elena remembered accidentally stepping in the paint and, on the way to the bathroom, had left a few prints, which had then inspired Sabina to dip her foot into the other colors and start dancing around the room. Boot prints dotted the ceiling like constellations, standing out against the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars. 

Tealight candles burned on the dresser and pillar candles flickered in the four corners of the room. Clothes piled up at the foot of the bed, balled up on the floor and leading into the bathroom. None of them ever seemed to reach the hamper shoved into the back of the open closet. A clear salad bowl filled with silly putty eggs sat on top of the vanity. The plastic CVS bag next to the bowl rattled when touched, filled with pain meds and creams. A few silly putty eggs sat on the bottom of the bag, which Sabina had begged for in a drug-induced state on the way home from the hospital, to add to their collection.

Sabina mumbled in her sleep and rolled over, whining when she brushed the raised skin near her ears. Elena sat up and helped Sabina move back into a more comfortable position so that she didn’t lean on her burns. Elena brushed short, oily strands of hair out of Sabina’s eyes, wrinkling her nose. She’d need to wash it later. Elena leaned down to kiss her forehead. She pulled back at the feel of slick sweat, reminding herself to remember to give Sabina a bath as well.

The only sound in the small bedroom beside Sabina’s breathing was the sound of pages flipping. Elena curled her hand around the edge of her manuscript, flipping through the pages as she checked over the changes her editor made. 

“No.” Elena looked down and saw Sabina mumbling, clenching and unclenching her fist on top of the  _ My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _ covers. Sabina’s choice, not hers. Her girlfriend could be a child sometimes, like with the silly putty. However, Sabina stimmed with it to keep her hands busy so Elena couldn’t fault her for that. “No, I’m sorry. Please. No, don’t leave!” Elena rested one hand on Sabina’s clenched fist and began running the other through her hair again.

* * *

_ Dinner had been a quiet affair. Sabina’s mother, Tamar, had arranged Shabbat dinner with Sabina and her roommate. Sabina still hadn’t told her mother that she and Elena were dating but claimed that they were best friends instead. Sabina had been hiding her relationship because her mother was extremely religious. Conservative-leaning towards Orthodox values. Her mother grew up in an extremely strict household and wanted to hear nothing of her child behaving in such a perverse manner. Sabina’s father grew up in a more Reformed household and accepted the fact that she loved women instead of men. Sabina remembered those rants, the ones about how her being gay went against everything her mother had taught her, when she was younger, even if she couldn’t remember what had started them. _

_ The kitchen was silent but for the clanking of silverware. It smelled like roast chicken and freshly baked challah bread, eggy and warm. Sabina remembered when she used to adore her mother, when she would stand on a stool and watch her mother weave the strands of dough together just like she did Sabina’s hair in the morning before synagogue, back when she wasn’t allowed to cut her hair. Tamar always talked about how Sabina would do the same thing for her husband when she got married. How she would braid her long hair and only her husband would see it, hidden behind a wig or a hair wrap at all times. _

_ A Star of David stained glass twinkled in the window above the kitchen sink, casting a rainbow onto the ground outside. Mezuzot, with their little prayers tucked inside, lay perfectly straight the side of every entryway. Sabina knew Tamar always prided herself on tradition, especially those she’d brought with her when she had moved from Israel to start a family. _

_ Tamar started the conversation off perfectly fine, asking about Elena’s dance group and if she’d met any nice men, even though she’d also judged the male dancers at the same time. Her mother mentioned how she thought that the men in the dance group shouldn’t be doing things that she saw as feminine because they needed to be out in the workforce and take care of their wives.  _

_ Sabina mentioned in a quiet voice that she and Elena were dating and things dissolved into chaos. _

_ Everything stood still for a moment. The house seemed to hold its breath as if waiting for whatever came next. Sabina never outright told her mother that she preferred the company of women to men, but she felt tired of always hearing her mother talking about her finding a good husband. She didn’t need a man. She felt happy with Elena and that mattered more than anything. Sabina focused more on Elena’s face than her mother’s reactions, but she could feel the tension in the room rising like steam from chicken noodle soup broth. _

Slap!

_ “What the hell?” Elena cried as she shot up from her seat, the clanking of silverware sounding like a gunshot in the stillness of the moment. Her chair clattered to the floor as Sabina watched through blurry eyes, cradling her cheek. “How dare you?” _

_ “Elena,” Tamar said and took a deep breath. She smiled like she hadn’t just slapped her daughter. She stood there with her hands on her hips, salt and pepper hair pulled back into a long braid, stray curls that remind Sabina of her own hair if it wasn’t so short. Thick and brown and hard to manage. Crows’ feet line her cold eyes and her skin sags a little from age. A Jewish glamazon. Sabina watched as her mother took her seat again, rubbing the palm of her hand on her skirt. “I must do what is right for my child. And the path she’s on now is not how I wanted her life to be. She’s destined for so much more than this phase.” _

_ “It’s not a phase,  _ ima _ ,” Sabina said, her voice soft and trembling. “I love Elena.” Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. “We,” she hesitated, “I mean, I, thought that you would be more accepting than this.  _ Abba _ —” _

_ “Your  _ abba _is_ _ an idiot.” Shira rolled her eyes. “Just because Monty thinks it’s okay to run off with his newest Twinkie doesn’t mean he should encourage you to do the same.” Sabina watched as her mother looked between the two of them, a scowl on her face. “It’s unnatural!” _

_ “ _ Ima _ , please!” _

_ “I’ll not hear any more of this! It’s useless to continue. I’ll find a way to have this behavior corrected. Mark my words.” _

_ Tamar stood in the doorway to Sabina’s childhood home, almost looking like a golem with how little she moved. It didn’t stop her from shouting at them though, but she’d mostly transitioned from English to Hebrew. Elena commented on how the woman sounded like a banshee that had just encountered death. Sabina laughed, but it felt empty. Her smile fell when they got to where they had parked. Sabina had just come from work and Elena from her dance group, so a sleek black Harley-Davidson sat next to a cute looking forest green Honda Civic.  _

_ Sabina stopped in front of the brunette's car and waited for Elena, arms wrapped around herself. She felt like she needed to hold herself together. Elena started pacing back and forth in front of her, like a caged panther. “I can’t believe your mother said that. I mean, she fucking slapped you,” Elena yelled. Sabina imagined Elena with fangs bared, claws unsheathed, hackles raised in a defensive position around her mate. It felt nice to be protected sometimes but Sabina felt numb. _

_ “I—” _

_ “And then you just sat there. Like, come on, she was totally about to disown you when we left! I’m surprised she didn’t.” _

_ “What was I supposed to do?” Sabina asked, her voice cracking. She felt the sting of salty tears as they slid down her cheek. She wiped at her nose and sniffled. “She’s my mother.” _

_ “You could have stood up for yourself. For us," Elena snapped as Sabina stomped over to her bike and scowled at it, like the bike had done some great injustice.  _

_ “How? I mean, I could maybe have spoken up a little more, but—” _

_ “There is no ‘but.’” Sabina knocked back the kickstand with a leather boot. Elena watched as Sabina straddled the bike, but she didn’t move. She just sat there, staring off into the distance, knuckles turning white against the handlebars. Her girlfriend surpassed her normal level of anger. Sabina showed her anger in a much more silent way when she felt upset, with glares and lip almost pulled back into an animalistic snarl. This was more physical, which Sabina knew meant that her girlfriend was not angry, she was pissed. No, Elena was beyond pissed. “You either are fine with this or not. Because your mom isn’t going to stop. She’s just gonna keep trying to rip us apart,” Elena said.  _

_ Sabina paused, fiddling with her black leather fingerless gloves.  _

_ “She’s not even here and she’s doing it right now.”  _

_ Sabina clenched and unclenched her fists, something she did when frustration set it and she couldn’t express it any other way. Elena stood there, unsure of how to handle the situation. Sometimes being the more passive person in the relationship sucked, because she had no idea what to do in a situation like this. “If you can’t deal with your mother, and you can’t stand up for yourself, maybe this isn’t going to work.” Sabina turned the key and the motorcycle purred to life. She turned the bike around and roared away before Elena could even respond. _

_ A few hours later, Elena sat in the hospital waiting room. Her girlfriend had been in a horrible accident and was lucky to be alive. _

* * *

Elena watched for a few more minutes, hoping the nightmare disappeared on its own. Sabina rolled one shoulder, hand coming up to paw at her ear with the back of her hand. Elena shook her girlfriend’s shoulder gently until she shot up. “Hey,” Elena whispered as she rubbed up and down Sabina’s arms, tracing freckles with her fingertips until Sabina focused on her. “Shh, everything’s okay.” Elena knew Sabina couldn’t hear her, but hoped her soothing presence helped calm her.

Sabina’s mouth opened and closed once before her eyes slid shut. They shot open again and she turned to Elena. “What did you say?” Elena winced at the volume of her girlfriend’s voice. Sabina rubbed at her ears, a scowl on her face.

Elena said nothing, instead getting out of bed to retrieve the Aloe Vera. The doctors told her that she no longer needed a prescribed cream, but to use an over-the-counter one instead. She moved back to the bed, crawling on top of the covers to reach Sabina’s head. Using hand motions, she gestured from the Aloe Vera to her own ears. “I’m going to put this on your ears.” Elena moved her mouth slow enough that so that Sabina might read her lips.

“What are you saying?” Sabina’s voice hadn’t lowered in volume, but the intensity rose even higher. “I mean, your mouth is moving but I can’t hear you.” She had started shaking, going into shock. “I thought they would have taken out the stuff. But it still must be there.” Sabina reached up to move her hand around her ears and Elena watched her, stomach feeling like she’d just swallowed a heavy stone. Sabina began to cry when she encountered no cotton, breath becoming heavy and quick. “What happened to me?”

Elena shook her head and pulled Sabina to her chest, running her fingers over her girlfriend’s skin, nails skating around freckles and beauty marks.

* * *

“ _ Hello. My name’s Sabina. _ ” Elena watched as Sabina signed and fingerspelled her name, her face awash with happiness, eyes twinkling in the harsh classroom lighting. Her deft fingers quick as she introduced herself. “ _ I’m learning ASL. I’m deaf. _ ” She pointed to Elena, who was sitting next to her with a proud smile on her face. “ _ She’s my girlfriend. Her name’s Elena. She is learning ASL with me. She’s hearing. _ ” Elena made what they had previously considered jazz hands at her girlfriend, feeling extremely proud of her. Sabina laughed, a smile on her face.

“ _ Good, Sabina, _ ” the instructor signed in response. “ _ Thank you. _ ”

When the teacher moved on to the next group of students to check on their skills, Elena turned to Sabina. “ _ I know ASL is hard for you.”  _ She leaned over and kissed Sabina’s cheek, making her giggle. “ _ I’ll help you. _ ”

“ _ I love you. _ ”

“ _ I love you. _ ”

* * *

The process of learning a new language, even one consisting of hand signs and gestures, was a struggle on both ends. Trying to navigate a relationship without speaking. Sharing feelings more through touch and facial expressions without words. However, it did bring them closer together.

“ _ What do you want for breakfast? _ ” Elena signed as she stood in the doorway to their room. A few months ago, that sentence would have been impossible to sign, but with both of them practicing it became easier. Sabina, however, was still getting used to a silent world. Elena sometimes spoke to fill the new silence of the house. Elena could see how frustrating her girlfriend sometimes felt, visible in the lines that now creased Sabina’s forehead. It became a habit for Sabina to wake up believing she could hear, that the whole accident was a nightmare. Some days felt harder than others. “ _ Your favorite? _ ”

Sabina wrinkled her nose, tongue sticking out slightly as she thought, which Elena found adorable. Sabina glanced at her hands for a second before looking back up. “ _ Sign for pancake? _ ” She fingerspelled the word pancake and Elena's heart grew three sizes. Sabina wasn't one to ask for help, stubborn as a mule, but she knew Elena's love of language helped her remember more than the blonde did.

Elena slapped her flat palms together and then flipped them to do the same, the sign for pancakes, and Sabina repeated it, smiling. While Sabina knew Hebrew from growing up, learning new languages had always been hard for her. On the other hand, Elena absorbed them like a sponge-- already knowing Hindi and starting on Arabic-- but her main language was dance. This made learning ASL harder for her while Elena slipped right into the silent language like one slipped into a pool. “ _ How long? _ ”

Elena stuck her tongue out. “ _ Long enough for you to take a shower! _ ”

“Thanks!” Sabina shouted as she threw a pillow at the doorframe. Elena laughed all the way to the kitchen, waiting to hear the shower turn on before she started cooking. 

It had been interesting relearning to cohabitate with a deaf person. Sabina often lamented the fact that she couldn’t hear Elena’s laughter anymore, couldn’t hear her voice when she sang in the shower. The worst thing that came out of the accident for Sabina was losing her ability to hear music and use it to express herself. However, if Elena turned the music up to an almost deafening volume, Sabina could feel the vibrations. Elena knew it helped, but her girlfriend still missed the music. 

They’d been talking to doctors at the nearby hospital about hearing aids. Sabina’s hearing wasn’t gone for good, just damaged. Sabina wanted to get the hearing aids, no matter how expensive, as she expressed to Elena more than once since their consultation meeting. They had been talking about trying to get that new implant that helped deaf people hear again, but they couldn't afford it on their combined salaries.

Elena felt a tap on her shoulder and jumped, spinning around to find Sabina laughing at her. Her laughter sounded like music and she felt bad that Sabina couldn’t hear it herself. Elena felt Sabina smirking into her shoulder before she pressed a kiss there. Elena sank into her girlfriend’s arms, returning the gesture with a peck on the lips. Elena pulled back but stayed within reach, pressing a hand to Sabina’s chest so she could sign, “ _ you scared me! _ ”

“ _ Sorry, _ ” Sabina signed, but the smile remained on her face. 

“ _ Maybe I shouldn’t give you pancakes! _ ” All Elena got in response was a pout. She watched as Sabina leaned closer and, as soon as the other girl got close enough to give her an Eskimo kiss, she nipped at her nose. She giggled as Sabina wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out. This was the typical response to any of Elena’s strange quirks.

“I hate you,” Sabina said aloud, even while pulling Elena closer.

“ _ I love you too. _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you guys enjoyed my version of whump.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought!
> 
> The sentences in ASL are written as proper sentences so that it's easier to read. In reality, they're much simpler and don't often use words like "is" and the like.


End file.
